Commute this.

Due to my location in the most beautiful state in all the US, New Jersey (*insert Sopranos, accent and bad driver references here*), a lot of the interviews I'm asked to go on are in New York City. Since the thought of driving into the city makes me think that stabbing myself in the eye repeatedly would be a good time, I choose what many others in my position (with my patience) would do: take public transportation. While the bus would not be horrible, I'd prefer not ending up in Port Authority at any time, alone, in a dress/suit. The vagrants can smell Jersey from a mile away, which usually means I have to stuff my credit cards/cash into my bra before exiting the terminal (they think we're so easy to manipulate...*grimace*).

In the end, my favorite choice for travel is the train. NJTransit has been the bane of my father's existence ever since we set foot in Jersey and he's had to commute into Manhattan. It's helpful, I guess, that the train station lies a mere five minutes from my house, but the repeated signal issues and construction are not helping Daddy's blood pressure (I feel that there should be a Clueless joke here, but I can't say what...) Personally, I think that NJT is a study in human nature, how they react in a specific space, in a social context. I've also managed to cultivate (ie scribble into my notebook) a few of the more interesting types of train etiquette:

1.) Never, ever sit next to someone if you do not have to. Unnecessary touching of thighs, arms or shoulders is in violation of the Personal Minute Space Code (PMSC). Three seaters should leave an empty seat in the middle to avoid awkward small talk; briefcases work great as a guardrail.

2.) Speak loudly and emphatically to your travel companion/cellphone buddy. Do not regard anyone else's personal feelings on the matter; glare at strangers who've overheard your conversation, especially when they offer advice to you on how to negotiate getting the sailboat from your ex husband.

3.) Eat the scariest, most ridiculous smelling food you possibly can in a cramped commuter train. Ask the person next to you if they'd like a bite (though it's most likely the case that you're alone).

4.) When a train track is posted, RUNFREAKINGRUN to get the window seat and then pile all your bags next to you to execute number 1.

5.) Never share your Krispee Kremes. EVER. (I had some guy on the train ask me for one of my dozen. I told him to get bent.)

The best way to avoid all confrontation with regards to human contact is to pull out your headphones/book/knitting project and ignore the world. The latest extravaganza was a trip into the Water Street area (read SUPER downtown Manhattan) for an interview with a trading company. I could have kissed the woman who called me (though that's hard to do over the phone, really) when she said it was pretty casual and I didn't. Have. To. Wear. A. Suit. Besides the fact that it was horribly warm on Friday, I still sucked it up and wore a dress...with a sweater...into the downtown area to do what I do best and attempt to find employment.

Skip to my trip back: besides the loathsome heat of the subway, New York Penn Station is a breath of fresh ass to most commuters . During the rush time of 4-7 on a Friday the only thing to bolster your (read:my) spirits is a Venti Iced Coffee and a semblance of humor. I am a huge believer in number 4 on my list because it's better to beat the crush than get stuck in it. However, despite all the finagling of my limbs to get a good spot on the 4:07 Longbranch to Newark Penn Station (would someone explain why Newark and New York have the same freaking station names? Just curious.) I ended up with a dowdy looking seatmate making sighing noises into her Vogue magazine. While I empathize with her designer dreams, I do not need to hear it over the blare of my Ipod every thirty seconds; it's remixing all my Maroon 5.

While I may wax unpoetically about traveling the NJT, it really is the best way to go. New York City is expensive; hell, JERSEY is expensive, but by taking the train you're saving some cash and much needed time (usually). In such a green-trendy era, perhaps we should embrace the empathy rather than push against it.

Besides, wouldn't you rather listen to someone talk about their bank statement than be alone in your car? I know I would (if I had coffee).