Makin' Sweet, Sweet...Silence?

Sadly, the world of unemployment has left me a hapless shell of my former self. I mean, it's a really lovely conch shell self, but at the same time there's no gooey inside to keep the people interested.

What I truly need is a hobby. Blogging, an amusement for the masses, has slowly started to take over my life. When I'm not laughing uproariously to myself about the next entry I'm going to input, I'm researching topics or attempting to take emo-like pictures of myself in full drag makeup that relate to said topics...my obvious desire to attend clown school would fit nicely with my daily war painting routine.

I've tired other things: collaging, for example. Even watercolors, which have only stood to remind me that my interpretation of life cannot be put onto paper...at least not well. When I run errands and I must conveniently drive past Michael's (gas is still too pricey to make a specific trip), I park my Focus and run in there so fast I probably leave skid marks by the automatic doors. Thousands of things to occupy my time line the aisles and each item I pick up automatically taunts me; it KNOWS I have no coordination. Covered in dismay, I leave the craft supply store daunted by my inability to glue things together without gluing myself as well.

Then my brother suggests exercise. I'm no Top Model, but I like the way I look and have no qualms with sitting on my butt reading the Twilight series and drinking coffee. My brother, Connor, begs to differ and on a recent shopping trip almost convinced me that I needed to do something about the extra "flab" I've been carrying around (I like to refer to it as my security blanket, thank you very much). It's not as if I've never tried. In our basement, starring me in the face when I walk to and from the laundry room, is our exercise bike. We have a mutual loathing for one another: me towards it because it makes me sweat and pant and hurts my ass and it towards me because I accidentally kicked it hard while climbing down and haven't been on it since.

Despite my failure at a few extra-curriculars, I managed to hold fast to my favorite of all past-times: reading books. The creation of Amazon's Kindle made me all kinds of not happy (why would you put novels on a COMPUTER...it's so hard to read!!), and to protest I am a willing member of Paperbackswap.com. I finally found a way to get rid of all my mom's old erotic romance novels and swap them for Salinger and Coelho. Since joining I think I've sent off about 20 books...sadly, this means I'm still crowded up to my eyeballs with the printed word, but I am n'er unhappy! My life revolves around my living room couch, a good cup of some hot brew and a book.

No wonder my mother thinks I'm a recluse.